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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Venting...

You other prego girls probably know the feeling that apparently hits close to the 3rd trimester when you no longer feel attractive AT ALL! I'm a big complainer lately but if pregnancy wasn't hard, I guess it wouldn't be as special or rewarding. And I mean, I've wanted a baby since I was like 12 and being the oldest of 6+ kids, I just had a natural tendency to want a cute precious baby that was MINE (and we were pretty blessed to get pregnant as soon as we wanted to, I realize other people are not that lucky). But no one and nothing prepares you for this emotional roller coaster! How did I not anticipate this?!
Aaron's basketball shorts and t-shirts have become the most comfortable thing to wear, and since I'm stuck in the house and go nowhere, it works! My mom emphasized to me the importance of getting ready everyday, just for yourself so you don't go crazy about your deteriorating looks and get depressed, and she's right!
I've always been an active person.. I don't think I've gone an entire week without exercise in my entire life so the fact that walking on a treadmill is strenuous is rather sad to me. I've told Aaron a few times that I feel physically handicapped.. I've gained such an appreciation for the size and weight that I used to be.. which never quite seemed to be good enough.. til now! I can't wait to run again, to sleep on my stomach, to not be so concerned about "am I eating enough for my baby? Am I eating too much and gaining too much weight?!" And don't even get me started about my bras cutting off my circulation.. I can't even breathe anymore!
But alas, the sacrifices we make for that unseen creature kicking away in our belly! Three months seems like so close, yet so far away, and I'm sure having a newborn brings lots of exhaustion and more sacrifices but there's a reason people keep having babies! And I'm lucky that Carter is healthy and that I've had a great first and second trimester compared to lots of people. I just never expected the emotional craziness and insecurities.. for some reason I thought I'd be tough enough to handle it!

7 comments:

PAUL + ALICIA+CAPRI said...

I feel ya! I loved being preg the 2nd trimester, but just in the past 2-3 weeks it really has been sooo hard! I told Paul yesterday im going into a "deep depression" I was just kidding and being dramatic but when you face is big.. your butt is big.. your legs are swollen and big.. and you belly is big.. there is nothing else going for you! AND its not going to get better for a few months, only worse! you cant help but to feel like crap about yourself! its exciting but Im ready for it to be over I just want my baby here!
Im sorry its rough! When we go to the gym this fall I will be your Jillian and wont let you slack... and you can be my Bob.. or I can be Bob and you can be Jillian hahah

Clayton and Noelle said...

I know how you are feeling. Every pregnant woman gets that way with each and every pregnancy. The first pregnancy is the hardest because you've never done it before and so everything is new and different. I remember feeling like I was already 80 years old and fat because even getting up off the couch was a struggle. I couldn't touch my feet and couldn't breathe a lot of the time. Everything gets fat...everything and it's hard to feel attractive or sexy at all. Listen to your mom though even if you aren't going anywhere or going to see anyone really try hard to get yourself ready and all prettied up...not just for you but for Aaron. You are doing a great thing and all the hard stuff is worth it. It doesn't get any easier until the baby is about 4 months old...trust me. But at least your not as fat, you can touch your toes, lay of your stomach or back and just feel a little more like yourself again. Just keep thinking positive thoughts as hard as it is and laugh about it. It's harder to take care of them on the outside then the inside...get yourself some really cute maternity clothes, some nice comfortable bras, and don't worry about gaining too much weight. This is the one time in your life where you can eat whatever you want and it really doesn't matter. Enjoy it the best that you can because pretty soon it will all be over and you'll have a screaming baby to take care of and you'll wish he were still in your belly hahahah! Love ya! You're doing just awesome and looking so cute!

Deno'N'Mo said...

Welcome to the Mommie Club! Ur now officially a member. It's all about feeling fat, ugly and insecure :). You'll always remember those days when you hated your body pre-children, and think, "How stupid was I?" Hang in there! :)

Julie said...

I totally feel your frustrations! There's nothing fun about being pregnant. Don't worry, you will get your body back. It really does make you appreciate your body before you were pregnant! I always made sure I got ready every day just like your mom said. It made me feel better and it still does!

Tasha said...

I love how real you are about things- its so hard and no one tells you that huh? Atleast you have an excuse right now- right? I want to tell you its going 2 to be easier- but when the baby comes its so much harder and that tight skin turns loose (thanks tash- for depressing me right!!! JK!) So enjoy where your at- letthe baby know you are bonding- i swear they sense the mama's emotion. It is such an emotional time- and its so hard!! It's like no one prepared me for all this. See I was the opposite i hated the second trimester cause i was still sick and started to sleep better in the third but by 34 weeks i was about ready to shoot myself! HA Just hope you come early right???! Enjoy this stage of life- because before you know it you will be like me wishing you had a cutie in your stomach (ya i know i'm crazy- who would have thought i would miss kaden kicking in me!!!) sure love ya girly! Stick with it- make sure aaron gives you lots of massages good for baby's brain development & mama's sanity! =) love ya!

Our Little Family said...

I feel your pain! I enjoyed my whole pregnancy up until the last few weeks when my legs and ankles were swelling and I thought that I would never see my ankles again. I agree with what everyone said, I got ready every morning and it totally made me feel better. It will be over soon and you will forget what it was like to be pregnant. You are right when you are short, the baby has no where to grow but out. You look great! In case you don't check our blog anytime soon, we got the Chicco Discovery travel system, we like it so far and can be used for boys too. I feel like it is pretty idiot proof, which is what I needed.

Danielle said...

I can so relate! I am always so worried that I am starving my baby! I don't know why. But then I also worry I'm eating too much. And I had a total melt down when I realized that none of my church clothes fit me anymore. John thought I had completely lost it haha. And it was also pretty depressing when we moved a couple of weeks ago and I was going through all of my pre-pregnancy clothes and dreaming about when I'd be able to wear them again. But it will all be so worth it in the end!!